Have you ever been involved in a major conflict? If we get right down to it, I think we'd all concede that our "problem" with the other guy is actually our problem. That is, unless, we think we can "fix" everyone. So, if it's true that we each need to accept responsibility for our share in the conflict -- and if we are to makes strides in avoiding such in the first place -- then we would be wise to heed Nolan's advice... After all, we artists can be rather stern in our positions.
- Express your anger without antagonism... he gives some great suggestions.
- Respond to anger with a soft answer... not to be confused with passive-aggressive behavior.
- Verbalize your hurt as soon as possible... don't brood.
- Respond sympathetically to someone you have hurt.
Noland ends the chapter with the question, "Is community really worth all this trouble?" What do you think? Here are my answers:
- Uh, yes.
- In reality, the trouble we go through when we don't deal with something is a lot worse.
- If we consider that our community is actually the Body of Christ, and unity is the major request of Christ final prayer before going to the cross, then I think it should be a major desire of ours as well.
Let me know what you think. I promise not to get mad at you.
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